Communicate With Your Child

How to listen to your child?
How to respond to your child?
How to talk to your child?

How to LISTEN to your child?

1. Show interest

Face your child and look at him in the eyes. Also, try to put aside whatever you are doing and avoid distractions. Be physically close to him.

2. Provide "encouragers"

Respond both verbally (e.g. use words like "huh-huh", "I see", "Yes") and non-verbally (e.g. nod, smile, make eye contact and use gestures).

3. Ask appropriate questions

Don't ask too many questions or focus too much on details without giving your child time to respond. You should ask open questions that keep conversations flowing. e.g. questions beginning with "What", "Why" and "How".

4. Enter your child's world

Appreciate your child's way of viewing the world. Don't be too quick to judge it as stupid or nonsensical.

5. "Listen" with your eyes

Observe your child's behaviour. He may act out his feelings and needs rather than talk about them. He may also express his inner world through play or drawings.

6. Listen to words

Hearing your child accurately helps you to understand what he is thinking. He could be telling you literally what he wants or there could be an underlying message.

7. Listen to feelings

Let your child know that you understand his feelings. He will find it easier to confide in you.

8. Be aware of your own responses

This will encourage communication with your child. How you respond will influence the way he talks to you.

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How to RESPOND to your child?

1. Encourage discussion

When your child asks questions, encourage discussion by saying "What do you mean by..." and allow him to respond.

2. Be honest

If you don't know the answer, be honest and tell him so.

3. Help your child look for the answers to his questions

Suggest how both of you could go about finding the answer.

4. Teach your child how to find answers

Engage him to find answers to his own questions. This will help him to think.
 
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How to TALK to your child?

1. Watch how and what you say

The tone of your voice is important. Speak calmly so you won't agitate your child.

2. Avoid long-winded sentences and difficult words

Use short and simple sentences if your child is below 6 years old.

3. Use ordinary language

Speak as you would to any adult.

4. Minimise on lecturing or preaching

This will put your child off and discourage him from talking to you.

5. Be sensitive

Observe your child and see if he is preoccupied with other things. If your child is not ready to share, wait. Don't force him to talk.

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