You and Your Baby

Handling Your Newborn
Bonding
Gentle Baby Massage
Breastfeeding
Crying

Handling your NewBorn

If you have not spent a lot time around newborns, their fragility may be intimidating.  Here are a few basics to remember:

1) Always support your newborn's head and neck
2) Do not shake him whether in play or in frustration. If you need to wake your infant, tickle his/her feet or blow gently on his cheek.  Your newborn is not ready for rough paly.  So do not jiggle him/her on the knee or throw him/her in the air.
3) Make sure that your newborn is securely fastened into the carrier, stroller or car seat before starting off on any journey.  Limit the car rides and any other activity that would be too rough or bouncy.

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Bonding

Bonding is an intense attachment you develop with your baby, making you want to protect and shower him/her with your love and attention.  Bonding starting even before your baby is born.  That is, when you talk to him/her, and when you experience his/her kick which he/she is still in the womb.

Bond with your baby through
1) Daily activities: The daily tasks of caring for your baby - feeding, bathing and changing, massaging as well as putting him to bed not only meet your baby's basic needs.  They also provide him/her with a sense of security and love.  Be unhurried and enjoy these moments spent with your baby.

2) Play: Sometimes your presence is more important than the play itself.  But play is serious business to your baby and he/she learns to interact with others through it.

3) Reading: Your baby loves listening to your voice and looking at pictures with you. Doing this also instils in him/her a love for reading.  Set aside a special time and place to read together everyday.

4) Music and rhythm:  Your baby loves the rhythm of your heartbeat when he/she is cuddled against your chest.  Bring your baby close to you when you carry him/her.  Talk to him/her even though he/she may not really understand what you are saying; hearing your voice is good enough for him.  Babies also enjoy the sound of peaceful music and nursey rhymes.

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Gentle Baby Massage

Studies have shown that babies who are touched and stroked lovingly grow faster, recover from illness more quickly, sleep better, experience less constipation and fewer digestive problems.  They recover from distress more quickly and are more settled.  You do not have to be trained to be able to massage your baby.  But having some knowledge on how to do this will help.

Some simple guidelines to note:

• Enjoy yourself.  Massage in a spirit of calmness and love.  Talk and sing as you stroke your baby.
• Don't massage immediately after a feed.
• Start gently, with light strokes for a short time.
• Massage your baby for two minutes only.  Work this up to a maximum of 10 minutes when he is a few months old or older.
• Keep your baby warm and make sure that he is comfortable.
• Take your cue from your baby.  If he/she is a little fretful, presevere and see if he/she settles down.  If he/she does not settle down, try again another time when he/she may be more receptive.
• Babies have very sensitive skin.  If your baby seems upset by the contact of your hands on his bare skin, start by stroking his limbs and back with his clothes on.  Or, when he is wrapped in a towel after a bath and you are holding him close.

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Breastfeeding

When you breastfeed or bottle feed, the important thing is that you must feel comfortable and enjoy the experience.

Advantages of breastfeeding

• Meets the nutritional needs of your baby
• Fewer allergies in breastfed babies
• Less likely to overfeed your baby
• Convenient and economical
• Makes travelling and going out easier
• Stools are mild smelling
• You need not worry about weight gain
• Regain your pre-birth figure faster
• Good bonding between you and baby

Advantages of bottle feeding

• Father can share in the feeding and bond with your baby too
• Longer time between feeds
• Your baby may sleep longer between feeds
• Good if you do not enjoy breastfeeding
• Someone else can feed your baby  
• Easier to bottle feed in public

Role of the father in breast or bottle feeding

• Be positive and encouraging of your wife's breastfeeding effort, especially, if she encounters problems.
• Feed your baby with the expressed breast milk in the night so that your wife can have a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.
• Bring your baby to your wife when she needs to nurse him/her and put him/her back in the cot after the feed to minimise movement for your wife.

If you are breastfeeding

• Eat a balanced diet.  Avoid foods that contain caffeine or are oily, spicy and rich.  They can affect your baby's digestion.
• Take time to feed.  Rushing is counter-productive as your baby will then need another feed in a short time.
• If you have problem with breastfeeding but want to continue with it, contact the Singapore Breastfeeding support group.

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Crying

Why do babies cry?
Babies communicate their needs by crying.  Some babies cry a little, some a great deal.  Your baby may be expressing a physical need, an emotional one or both when he cries.  He could be hungry, uncomfortable, bored, overstimulated or simply needs to feel your presence.  The cause is not always clear or even under your control.  Learning the meaning of your child’s cries take time.  Be patient with yourself and your baby.

What can I do if my baby will not stop crying?
Constant crying can be very stressful and draining for you, especially if your baby does not seem to settle down no matter how hard you have tried to soothe him.  You may feel angry and frustrated.

When this happens, it is wise for you to:
1) Recognise the problem: You are under a lot of stress and need help
2) Acknowledge your feelings:  Tell your spouse how you really feel and find ways for him to support you and take over.
3) Take a break:  Do something relaxing like listening to music, taking a walk outside the house or having a long, warm shower.  Sometimes just being away form your baby for a while helps.  But make sure that he is well taken care of while you take a break.
4) Keep your perspective:  Remember that the crying is not a reflection of you as a parent.  You are not a “bad” mother just because your baby cries a lot.
5) Talk to other parents:  They can give you emotional support and connect you with mothers who have gone through similar experiences.
6) Think positive:  Tell yourself the problem will not last forever.

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