Executive Summary 

HAPPY together – that is what families in Singapore are, generally.

Most households have a family nucleus, Singaporeans have pro-family attitudes, and there is a strong consensus that the family is the buttress of emotional and financial support.

Families are also close-knit with married children staying in touch with their parents. Relationships between parents and their children are also healthy. For instance, most teenagers feel appreciated and can get along with their family members.

But with more dual-income families, greater education expectations and time pressures, some troubling signs are beginning to emerge.

There are more broken marriages among couples who have been married for less than 10 years and those who have been together for more than 20 years. Sandwiched couples (i.e. those who have to take care of their elderly parents and their own children) feel the squeeze in juggling the demands of work and family commitments.

These findings are highlighted in the State of the Family in Singapore (SFS) 2004 report. Compiled by the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS) and the Committee on the Family, it draws from several surveys and published data.

Positive structures and ties

Singaporeans have strong pro-family attitudes, with a consensus that the family is crucial for emotional and financial support. 

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Strong Bonds

The Survey on the Social Attitudes of Singaporeans (SAS) 2000 found that 8 in 10 households have a family nucleus. A nucleus could comprise a married couple, with or without unmarried children, and a parent or grandparent. It could also include one parent with unmarried children.

9 in 10 people viewed their families as being close-knit and were satisfied with their family life, according to findings in the SAS 2001-2003.

There is also wide consensus that the family is the primary channel through which values can be transmitted across generations and that grandparents play an important role.

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Nurturing Children

The SAS surveys also found that 99 per cent of Singaporeans agreed that parents should nurture their children to develop positive values.  Most felt that the right values could be effectively taught in the family context through parents and grandparents. 

In fact, 99 per cent of those surveyed in SAS 2002 and 2003 agreed that parents should communicate regularly with their young children. For instance, parents should ask their children how their day went or talk about common activities – busy schedules notwithstanding.

In fact, most felt happiest when they were with their children. In the Ministry’s Study on Marriage and Procreation (SMP) in 2004, about three quarters of the 3,000 married respondents surveyed agreed with the statements:
• “I believe that in our modern world, the only place where you can feel completely happy and at ease is at home with your children” and
•  “I always enjoy having children near me”.   

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Nurturing Teens

Parents also have a moderately good relationship with their teenaged children. Findings from the 2002 National Youth Survey (NYS)  showed that 9 in 10 teenagers were happy with their lives.

The same ratio also felt appreciated by their families and 7 in 10 said that they could get along with their family members. They were also close to their mothers – a third would turn to their mothers for advice on a problem and two fifths, for important life decisions.

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Caring For Parents

The ties between married children and their parents also remained strong, according to a Housing and Development Board (HDB) survey, Social Aspects of Public Housing in Singapore: Kinship Ties and Neighbourly Relations.

The 2000 monograph showed that even married children who lived apart, rather than next door to their parents, kept in touch through frequent visits and contact or had the grandparents assist in caring for their grandchildren. For instance, three fifths of married children (59 per cent) visited their parents at least weekly.
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Adult children also continued to care for their parents financially and emotionally.

According to the 2000 Census, three quarters of the elderly aged 65 years and above named their children as their main source of income. This is consistent with SAS 2001 and 2002 in which 99 per cent agreed that it was the children’s duty to give monthly allowances to their elderly parents.
 
The Census also found that nearly three quarters of the senior citizens also lived with their children and only 9 percent of the non-ambulant elderly lived alone. 

These findings indicate that intergenerational ties are still positive in Singapore and filial piety remains a key moral in society.

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Some stresses emerging

Some troubling signs, which indicate that marriage, family formation and the family unit will face increasing challenges in the long term, have begun to emerge. The concerns include an increasing rate of divorces, more parenting pressures and greater tensions faced by sandwiched couples.

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Divorces

Singapore’s divorce rate has been rising steadily since 1980. The Report of Marriages and Divorces, from the Department of Statistics (DOS), showed a doubling – from 3.8 to 8 divorces per 1,000 married women from 1980 to 2003.  Children bear more than the fair share of burdens associated with the weakening of marriages.  In 2003, at least 5,900 children under the age of 18 witnessed their parents’ divorce.

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Starter marriages

Couples are splitting up even before they reach their 10th wedding anniversary. Nine per cent of civil couples married in 1994 divorced before their 10th year together compared to 7 per cent for the 1987 cohort.  For Muslim marriages, 16 per cent of the 1994 cohort dissolved their marriage within the first ten years compared to 11 percent of the 1987 cohort.

 

Of particular concern is the trend of “starter marriages” – divorces in nuptials less than five-years-old where couples usually have no dependent children. We are seeing an increasing number of young non-Muslim marriages (under 5 years) break up.  The majority of these early non-Muslim divorcees (73 per cent) do not have children.  Such early break ups are pervasive in the United States and have been documented by Pamela Paul, an editor at consumer trends publication, American Demographics. She interviewed 60 young divorcees and found that the couples were “mesmerized by the romantic idea of marriage and blinded to reality”.

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Empty Nesters

The proportion of couples who break up after 20 or more years of marriage has nearly doubled – from 11.4 per cent in 1990 to 20 per cent in 2002.  Most of these divorcees are aged 50 years and above and the majority do not have dependent children below 18 years old.

This trend of “empty nest” divorces gives rise to an emerging group of elderly “singles”.   

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Parenting Pressures

There is no dearth of research to show that the quality of relationships between parents and their teenaged children act as a buffer against emotional distress, substance abuse, early sexual activity and suicidal thoughts or attempts. As today’s families juggle the increasing demands of work and family life, that buffer has had to absorb more shocks.

Results from the 2002 NYS showed that teenagers, though happy with life, felt a sense of alienation from their families.

Nearly 23 per cent of male and 17 per cent of female teenagers indicated that the only time they were noticed was when they had a problem and when they could not get along with family members. 

Teenagers also reported finding it harder to talk to their fathers compared to their mothers.  Nearly 44 per cent would turn to a friend first if they had a problem. Mothers came second (33 per cent) and then, fathers (11 per cent).

The number of juvenile offenders arrested, aged between 7 and 15 years, rose 42 per cent from 2001 to 2003.  A total of 2,515 teenagers were nabbed in 2003 – up from 1,461 in 2001, according to the Singapore Police Force.

Teenage pregnancy and abortion trends also indicate that teen sexuality is an area to be watched. The number of teenage births peaked at 952 in 2000, from 704 in 1997, before dipping to 849 in 2002.

There were 1,626 teenage abortions in 2001 – up from 1,368 in 1998.   Teenage abortions accounted for 13 per cent of all abortions carried out in Singapore in 2002.

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Sandwiched Families

With Singapore’s fast-greying society – 1 in 5 people will be 65 years and older by 2030 – a significant proportion of couples find themselves squeezed in a situation where they have to take care of their elderly parents as well as their own children.

With smaller families and the decline in the traditional extended family model, sandwiched couples find that they have fewer family members to turn to for help. The primary caregiver is also often in the position of having to negotiate on care-giving arrangements with other family members, leading to tension in the family. 

Also, with the dual-income trend, sandwiched families find it tough to cope with their own needs – housing, financial, medical and emotional – and those of their ageing parents and their growing children. 

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Other Findings

Some other signs are also starting to emerge. These include delays in marriage and having children, weaker bonds among singles with their family members, and changing values towards family norms.

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Late Marriage And Child-bearing
 
The SAS results 2001-2003 showed that Singaporeans desire nuptials and 8 in 10 would prefer to get married than to remain single,. 

However, the MCYS Study on Marriage and Procreation 2004 found that nearly 1 in 3 who had the intention to marry had never dated before.  The reasons cited: no partner, not enough money, no time and priority to careers. 

Despite the positive attitudes towards marriage and parenthood, delayed marriage and childbearing remain the dominant trends.  Although the SMP study found that nearly 4 out of 5 people felt that a three-child family was “just nice”, in reality, individuals planned to have just two children on average.

The constraints cited for their choice: not enough time and energy for children, and concerns about financial support.

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Singles And The Family

While the SAS surveys consistently showed that the most Singaporeans, including singles have high levels of communication within the family and enjoyed close ties. 

All three SAS surveys (2001-2003) showed that singles would talk about their problems to their family members. 8 singles in 10 singles compared to 9 in 10 married people said they would confide in their family members and that they would hear from their family members when the latter had personal problems.

The findings are encouraging as they show that most singles enjoy strong family ties, with support felt between them and their family members. 

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More Liberal Values
 
While the majority of Singaporeans hold positive attitudes towards family, the single, younger and better-educated cohorts appear to be holding more liberal values towards divorce and having children out-of-wedlock. 

In all three SAS studies, only 48 per cent of singles – compared to 67 per cent of married people – frowned on divorce. And 7 in 10 singles disapproved of unmarried persons having babies. The ratio was 8 in 10 for the married group.

Although such attitudes do not necessarily translate into behaviour, they indicate that societal norms are shifting and may have implications on behaviour long-term. 

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Conclusions

On the whole, there is a positive picture of families in Singapore.  The dominance of families with a stable family structure, Singaporeans’ pro-family attitudes, and strong consensus that the family is the buttress of emotional and financial support augur well for families here.  Surveys also show that most Singaporeans feel they have close-knit families and are satisfied with their family life.  Intergenerational families and ties remain strong.  This positive state of affairs indicates that the family remains the first line of care and support. 

Nevertheless, heavy work commitments and the stresses of modern family life, and changing social values are putting strains on strong and stable family ties.  The slow but steady rise in divorces is also of concern.  The Many Helping Hands approach of rallying families, the people, private and public sector must continue, so that Singapore will continue to be a Great Place for Families.

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Chapter 1: Family Structure and Ties
               Annex