Sex in Marriage

Sex is an integral part of a marital relationship. It is important to discuss the way sex affects the relationship between you and your spouse and discover ways to make it a mutually pleasurable and meaningful experience.

However, you shouldn’t be obsessed with the importance of sex, to the extent that both of you feel inadequate and unfulfilled when you do not have sex regularly and enthusiastically.

Some myths about sex in marriage:
- Sex is everything in marriage.
- Sexual satisfaction is an indication of marital satisfaction.
- Sex is for procreation.
- Sex techniques will improve sex life.
- Sexual desire will never change.
- There are universal standards for sexual activity.

Sex education
Gender differences in the effects of sex
The phases in the human sexual response cycle


Sex education

Male & female differences in sex:
Studies have found that men and women differ in the ways they look at sex. Generally, for men, sex is more a physical expression while women often see it in the context of a meaningful romantic relationship.

Understanding these differences is important because it helps you and your partner become sensitive to each other’s needs.

Gender differences in the effects of sex:

Male:
- Fulfills his manhood
- Satisfies his sex drive
- Enhances his love for his mate
- Reduces friction in the home
- Provides excitement

Female:
- Fulfills her womanhood
- Satisfies her sex drive
- Reassures her of being loved
- Relaxes her nervous system
- Provides a way of expressing love and commitment

The phases in the human sexual response cycle

1. The foreplay phase

Foreplay gives mutual excitement and prepares you and you partner for sexual intercourse. Initiating foreplay in a clean, comfortable and romantically decorated and lit environment helps set the stage for sex.

Mental intimacy through the sharing of loving words and emotions will further build the romantic ambience for your sexual experience.

You can also increase sexual pleasure and desirability by keeping clean, hygienic and attractive for your partner. Try to shower and wash regularly to make the sexual encounter more pleasant.

2. Excitement phase

Gentle caressing, kissing, massaging and stimulation of erogenous areas are signals for the beginnings of sexual encounters. These actions allow the body to maintain and intensify sexual arousal and set the stage for climax.

Understand that it is normal for women to take a longer time to be aroused when compared to men.

During this phase, mental or physical distractions can discourage the build-up of sexual excitement in both sexes. This may eventually lead to loss of sexual energy and the man’s erection may subside.

3. Climax phase

Sometimes called “orgasm” or “coming”, this phase is characterised by intense physical sensations and pleasure that last for only a few seconds followed by rapid relaxation.

For both sexes, orgasm results in an involuntary response that may include muscle spasms or cramps. The man will ejaculate semen from the penis while the woman may have increased vaginal secretions and an intensely pleasurable feeling, usually at the clitoris and around the pelvis.

Psychologically, the orgasm is usually an intense and pleasurable personal experience. It is experienced differently by people and varies even for the same individual.

4. Recovery phase

While most women are capable of multiple orgasms, men usually find it difficult to experience another orgasm within a short period of time. So it is important for the husband to be sensitive to the needs of the wife and continue lovemaking with her if she so desires.

After the orgasm, your body will relax as the sexual flush and heavy breathing subsides. Men may sometimes continue to feel aches in the testes and women my experience pelvic congestion during this recovery period. Your recovery may take longer if you did not achieve orgasm.