Sexual Intimacy

Sexual intimacy is more than physical closeness. It is an emotional adventure, an exploration and a process of discovery.

Sexual Satisfaction In Marriage

Sexual needs and experiences are unique for every individual. Sexuality also operates within a cultural context. There are social norms and expectations in sexual behaviour.

Sexual relationships outside marriage are usually met with social and religious disapproval. Premarital sex also generates distrust and disrespect and can cause the couple to focus on sex and lose interest in getting married.

But when sexual relationships occur within a marriage, couples achieve greater enjoyment of sex and have greater success and stability in marriage.

It is important to realise that it is possible to have sex without love and it is also possible to be a loving couple without much sexual activity.

Intimacy is not only experienced physically, it comes with how you feel about each other, what you do with each other, and the way you talk to each other.

You should consider that:

1. Sex is something to be learnt

Learn about the physical aspects of sex and how a man and a woman respond to each other sexually. You might want to read up about the subject before the wedding night.

2. A couple may need to adjust to each other sexually

Sex is not just something that a husband and wife have with each other. It is part of a relationship and each may need time to get used to the other.

3. How you feel affects your sexual life

Sex is not just for meeting physical needs. It is an emotional experience as well because the way you feel about each other influences your desires and performance.

4. How you think affects your sexual life

Your attitudes and beliefs about sex can either inhibit or enhance sexual desire.

5. Sex requires preparation

It helps to prepare for sex by the way you think of each other. Ensure that you are reasonably relaxed and treating each other nicely before having sex.

6. Flexibility is important

Be open to different ways of having sex. What is important is that both of you feel comfortable and positive about the experience.

7. Sex includes being other-oriented

Think of ways to pleasure your partner and satisfy his/her needs.

8. Sex is not just intercourse

Sex is a long process of activities that results in mutual pleasuring and culminates in intercourse. Keep in mind that not all foreplay can lead to intercourse. At the same time, physical touching doesn’t need to be confined to foreplay time.

9. Sex can be discussed

Tell your partner what you enjoy most, where stimulation is most pleasurable and how best to do it. If you are not yet ready for lovemaking, you may want to set a definite time in the future for it to happen.

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Plan for a family

Discuss with your spouse when you would like to have children and how many you should aim for.

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Genetic Counselling:

Genetic counselling is the consultation and advice provided by a doctor about the possibility of a child being born with an inherited disease or birth defect.
 
Read up more here

When you plan to have a baby, you should seek genetic counselling if:
• You or your partner have a birth defect or genetic disease
• You or your partner have a child, parent or close relative with a birth defect, genetic disease or mental retardation
• You or your partner are a carrier of a genetic disease, e.g. you have the thalassemia trait
• You are a woman above 35 years of age
• You are a woman who has had 3 or more miscarriages or still births

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Contraception

Family planning also involves preventing unwanted pregnancies if you and your spouse are not yet ready for a child.

Some Methods Of Contraception:

1. Condoms

A condom is made of a thin sheath of rubber and is worn over the penis during sexual intercourse. When worn before vaginal penetration, the condom prevents sperm from entering the vagina and fertilising the egg. They should preferably be used together with a spermicide.

2. Spermicides

Spermicides are chemicals that kill sperm. They come in the form of a cream, jelly, vaginal foam or aerosol.

Spermicides need to be placed in the vaginal early enough before intercourse to be effective. They should be used together with a condom or diaphragm to be effective.

3. Oral Contraceptive

These pills are made of synthetic hormones that prevent ovulation. They have to be prescribed by a doctor and are safe and reliable if taken daily. However, some people may suffer from side effects if they take these pills.

4. Intra-Uterine Device (IUD)

This is a small device made of plastic and a copper coil that is inserted into the woman’s uterus by a doctor. It prevents pregnancy by stopping the implantation of the fertilised egg.

5. Rhythm Methods

The basic principle here is to avoid sexual intercourse during the woman’s fertile period. However, it is difficult to pinpoint these safe periods when there is little risk of pregnancy from intercourse. This is because women have different menstrual cycles and not all of them are regular. Therefore, Rhythm Methods like the Calendar method, Temperature method, and Mucous method may not be reliable for birth control due to the irregularities and discipline involved.

6. Sterilisation

For the males, vasectomy involves surgically cutting the sperm ducts. For the females, tubal ligation involves tying and cutting or clipping the fallopian tubes to prevent the eggs from passing through.

These methods are permanent and should not be pursued until the couple has seriously considered and decided together that the family is complete.

7. Contraceptive Implants

These are synthetic hormones contained in a set of capsules (e.g. Norplant). They work by preventing ovulation and thickening the cervical mucus, which acts as a barrier to the sperm.

The capsules are inserted by a doctor under the skin of the woman’s arm under local anesthesia. This method is almost 100% effective, long acting and safe.

Click here to learn how to manage pregnancy.

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