When you see a friend in an abusive relationship, there are certain guidelines you should follow, either if your friend approaches you for advice, or if you decide to speak to your friend about it:

• Talk to your friend and be non-judgmental when discussing the abuse
• Listen to your friend and believe him/her
• Let your friend know that violence under any circumstance is unacceptable
• Express your understanding, care, concern and support
• Point out your friend's strengths. He/she may not see his/her own abilities because they are blinded by the effects of the abuse.
• Encourage your friend to speak to a social worker or counsellor and offer to go with him/her for support
• Call the police if the abuse is serious.

Some areas to avoid when you are sharing confidences in terms of abuse:

• Don't ask blaming questions such as "What did you do to provoke him/her?"
• Don't pressure your friend into making quick decisions