Friends, acquaintances, someone special? The need for social interaction is natural but there are all sorts of questions that pop up when dealing with the people in your life.

Friendships
Relationships
Physical intimacy
Coping with rejection
Breaking up
Sex Basics
Saying "No"
Affection & Personal space
Sexual Abuse

Friendships

While your family and parents were important when you were younger, you'll notice that your friends are becoming increasingly important. Your world might feel that it is revolving more and more around them.

Who you become has a lot to do with the company you keep. Discerning between good and bad company, and finding people who interrelate with your goals, dreams and moral values is important at this time. While it helps sometimes to have lots of friends, remember it is quality, not quantity. Now is the time to have the courage to say 'no' to anything that you don't feel comfortable about.

In any healthy relationship, there are a few qualities that you want to look for:

• Care
• Concern
• Commitment
• Trustworthiness
• Mutual Respect

What does "love" mean - whether between 'just friends' or more romantically:

• Giving someone your time, energy, encouragement, patience and concern.
• Learning to relate to the other mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
• Respecting the other's wishes and feelings - being sensitive and knowing that there are ways of showing another person what they mean to you by more than words.

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Relationships

Boy-girl relationship, or dating, is a good way to learn more about people. It can be fun and exciting, but always remember that respect for each other is one of the key cornerstones in building any good and solid relationship.

Instead of going 'solo', especially when you are starting to date, why not try going out with a group? Then there are more people and personalities - it can be fun to hang out together and it takes off some of the pressure of one-on-one.

The old saying "slow and steady wins the race" may make sense with relationships here. Everything seems to be happening so fast, but there's lots of time (even when it doesn't feel like it) - take time to cultivate the relationship, find out your similarities and differences, your priorities, your
goals and dreams, to respect each others thoughts and decisions.

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Physical Intimacy

There is more to relationships than physical intimacy. Sometimes if physical intimacy is introduced into a relationship too early, other, and more important things, like building communications, learning all about each other and building a strong foundation may be ignored, to the detriment of the longer-term relationship value.

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Coping with Rejection

Rejection seems like the worst thing in the world, but it really is a part of growing up. Often times it has nothing to do with you, so don't let your self-esteem be bruised by it. The other person might just not want to get into an exclusive relationship at the moment.

The less personally you take these setbacks, the more you can benefit from the experience. It is the firm and lasting friendships that are more important at this point in time - the more people you know, the greater your circle of choice for a special someone when the time comes!

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Breaking Up

It may feel bad to suffer a broken relationship. You might feel sad or lonely or may feel other emotions as well - look at What Feeling and Emotions Mean for some suggestions on what to do.

Remember first of all that you are still valuable and special - your worth is not dependent on what others think of you.

Take time to feel sad and then slowly put it behind you. Get yourself back into the swing of things by participating in various activities and expanding your social circle.

Remember, years later you may just look back and laugh at some of these situations.

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Sex Basics

First of all - Sex and Love are not the same thing!

Love is a tough word to define - you can love ice cream, love to dance, love Maths, and even love your pet. Loving someone means different things to different people but it comes back to some of the basics including mutual respect, trust and understanding. It is an emotion, while sex, on the other hand, is a biological event.

If someone tries to tell you that having sex will help love to grow, they are mistaken. Often times, when you are young, it can cause many problems. It can be misleading - the physical sensations can make you believe that there is more in common than there really is. Love is based on respect, trust and mutual understanding, so the sacrifice made by sex just serves to complicate things and take attention away from other important areas of a relationship. Lines like "If you care about me, you'll have sex with me"? or "You owe me" should be warnings. You don't have to have sex with someone to prove you like them or pay them back for gifts or evenings out.  It is not a trade-off.

Abstinence, not having sex, has some great advantages. Not only don't you have to work about getting sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), you also don't have to deal with a pregnancy, or a thousand other problems that casual sex brings. No other method is 100% safe.

Sex for young people is risky. Remember to think about your own personal values and feelings. Address the issues of sex once you have established yourself as a couple for the long term, as in marriage.

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Saying "No"

Be honest.

"I like you but I'm not ready for sex"
"I enjoy being with you but I don't think I'm old enough to have sex"
"It's my decision not to have sex. I don't have to give you any more reason."
"I don't believe in having sex before marriage. I want to wait."

Always remember - think BEFORE you act. Think about your goals. Think about your future. "Is sex really that important to me now? What's the right decision for me?" There are so many things to consider " STDs, pregnancy, abortion, parenthood " do you need it right now?

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Affection and Personal Space

Some people are more physically affectionate than others - hugging, and touching friends and family - sometimes there can be confusion as to limits and meanings of affectionate acts.  When you are in a relationship, the most important thing is to communicate! Discuss what you mean by the things that you do. Talk about your feelings and what seems right for the both of you - if you don't agree, you might be better off finding someone else whose beliefs are closer to your own.

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Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse occurs when someone touches or uses your body in a wrong way or for a bad purpose. This includes molest, rape and incest.

If that person who sexually abused you is a member of the family, this should still be reported because that person has physically violated your body. If you, or someone you know has had this happen to them, please look to the Family Violence section of the site for information on what to do.

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